OPEN THREAD 20200317

Basically, all legal free speech is allowed. We will assist the authorities in dealing with illegal speech. You are each other’s moderators. Have fun. And don’t forget to MAGA at nuclear levels.

After going through the elements, we now enjoy a sequence of RANDOM somewhat pseudo-random topics that will be thrown out for investigation and commentary on each open thread. At some point, in a way something like composite numbers, I will accidentally hit a second occurrence of one of them – that’s just normal.

Have fun!

Citizen U

(a.k.a. W on the OTHER site)

Day 132 – the legend that Tulsi Gabbard drove Christianity from Hawaii

10 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200317

  1. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

    “MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis”

    When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

    [On the flip side, it provides decent security and the user can evidently remember it.]

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Actual tech support call —

    (A customer calls in infuriated because he’s unable to operate his remote, not without reminding us that he has tried everything in the book. At this call center, the tech support process can’t be any easier, since one does not even have to think. It’s just literally going through a flow of steps. We get to the step that says, “Check if the batteries are fresh.”)

    Me: “So, we’re going to check something real quick. Would you kindly tell me when was the last time we changed the batteries?”

    Customer: “Huh? Come again?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I said would you kindly tell us when you changed your remote batteries for the last time.”

    Customer: “It’s just like it was when you guys installed the service. Your technicians left it like this and nothing has changed.”

    Me: “That’s great. I see, however, that our service tech installed your services almost a year ago.”

    Customer: “Yeah, and I haven’t touched anything. It simply quit working!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. No need to worry, though. Do me a favor. Let’s make sure to change the batteries.”

    Customer: “IT’S JUST LIKE YOUR TECHNICIAN LEFT IT!”

    Me: “Oh, okay.” *not sure what he means, but giving him my best customer service skills* “Thanks for reassuring us about that. All we have to do is change the batteries, please. Take your time.”

    Customer: “NOBODY TOLD ME THIS REMOTE NEEDED BATTERIES!”

    Me: *not sure if he is serious, but giving him the benefit of the doubt* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, but that’s quite all right. Let me explain to you how it works, okay? Basically, our remotes are powered by AA batteries. And we need four of them for the remote to work for about four or five months.”

    Customer: “NO ONE HAS TOLD ME I NEEDED BATTERIES. IT SHOULD WORK WITHOUT THEM!”

    (I am completely unsure how to proceed. Customers like this can see any clarification as a form of disputatious attitude and escalate quickly, hang up, leave a nasty survey, or all of the above, so I try my best to connect with him.)

    Me: “I get your frustration. You know, this happened to me, too, one time.” *tries making up a story about me being this naïve* “So, one time, I bought, uh… a… Playstation controller, and… uh… I was never told it needed to be recharged! So… I feel your frustration here!”

    Customer: “Oh, wow. See? Why does that happen? Remotes should work without batteries! They should just be used forever!”

    Me: *again, trying my best to connect* “Right?” *to de-escalate him further, I acknowledge his idea as if it made sense* “You know what would be awesome? Solar-powered remotes. I will definitely submit feedback.”

    Customer: “Uh-huh. You do that! But I still don’t understand why my remote needs batteries.”

    Me: “Will do, sir.” *trying to make him feel acknowledged* “It’s a mystery, I guess. But in the meantime, we’re going to have to recommend you changing the batteries of your remote every three or four months. Again, sorry nobody told you that the remote needed batteries, but now you know!”

    Customer: “All right, young man. Thanks for your help! I guess you learn something new every day!”

    Me: *still not believing what happened, but agreeing in the fact that we all learn something new, like some people don’t have basic cognitive skills* “You’re right, sir. We all learn something new. Have a great one!”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. From tech support person:

    (A long time ago, I used to work as a support person in a tech support department. The software we used would report the data from the phone system about how long someone had been on the phone call. Usually, for us, this was how long they had been on hold. I pick up a call out of the queue and introduce myself, and then this happens.)

    Customer: *somewhat yelling* “I’ve been waiting forever on the phone! I’m a paying customer and I shouldn’t have to wait this long. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting?”

    (I normally don’t take the bait, but this time since the customer actually asked and I have the data, I decide to respond.)

    Me: “Three minutes and forty-five seconds.”

    Customer: *pause* “Wait, what?”

    Me: “Now, three minutes and fifty-eight seconds.”

    Customer: “How do you know that?”

    Me: “Because our phone system knows how long it’s been since you called it and reports that information to me.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, it feels like a lot longer, and I shouldn’t have to wait so long!”

    (The customer was nice for the rest of the call as I resolved their problem, so it ended up working out instead of having to deal with an entitled, grouchy person. But I got a chuckle out of the “it feels like a lot longer” comment.)

    Liked by 1 person

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