OPEN THREAD 20200413

This is the daily OPEN THREAD for today.

Our purpose is the utter destruction of the criminal CCP.

Anything can be posted on this thread – we have free speech.

That said, everybody else does, too.

And we do have a rule.

Don’t get in front of our weapons.


11 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200413

  1. Different ethnic groups in the USSR have a meeting.

    Each group has a representative, who must talk about what it is like living in the soviet union (and praise lenin and communism along the way if they don’t want to get killed).

    The Chukchi people live in Siberia, and haven’t had it so great under soviet rule. Their representative begins to speak.

    “After the revolution, in 1922, when the soviet union was formed, we had 1 feeling: cold.”

    “A few years later, we began to have another feeling: hunger.”

    This raised some eyebrows.

    “And now we have 3 feelings: cold, hunger, and a great appreciation for the communist party.”


  2. As a young man, Nickolai joined in the Bolshevik Revolution and was decorated for his role, and was invited to Moscow for the celebration, and put up in a big hotel there. He had grown up in a remote village where there was no plumbing and knew nothing of toilets, so when he felt the call of nature, he looked around for a suitable place, and chose the closet.

    Years later, he was decorated by The Party for his outstanding role in raising record potato crops, and again invited to Moscow for the ceremony, and again given a room in the same hotel. This time he chose the bottom drawer of the dresser.

    During the War against Fascism, he was recognized for his outstanding bravery against the enemy, and as a war hero was invited to Moscow for the victory parade. Once again, he was assigned to the same hotel – but by now he knew all about modern plumbing, and used the hotel toilets.

    When he returned to his village, there was a telegram waiting for him. It was from the hotel.

    It read: ‘Dear Comrade, We give up. Where have you hidden it this time?’


  3. The country of Ohms is run by a brutal dictator.

    Due to the suppression of their rights, the citizens of Ohms frequently rise up and attempt to storm the gates of the capital city. However, the dictator always has just the right number of mercenaries to repel the rebels and cause the survivors to disperse for a few months or so.

    The dictator accomplishes this by sending a scout out whenever he gets the news of a pending revolution. The scout locates the place where the revolutionaries are meeting, and counts them. For every revolutionary with a rifle, or every two revolutionaries without a rifle, the dictator hires a mercenary.

    This way, the dictator can stop the attack without having to spend too much money on hiring soldiers to defend the city.

    The moral of the story is that the current resistance is measured in Ohms.


  4. After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, “Why am I here? Certainly I’ve changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution.”

    “That’s quite true,” says Satan. “You belong ‘upstairs’ and I’m only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever new evil-doers land in hell, they’re presented with a brand new 17 inch MacBook Pro with quad-core processors, 8 gigabytes of RAM, and a 500 gigabyte solid state drive.”

    “That sounds like a pretty good deal, actually,” says Jobs. “So why am I here?”

    “I need you to help me load them all with Windows 95.”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Remain seated with your hands, arms, feet and legs inside the vehicle. Permanezca sentado con sus manos, brazos, pies y piernas dentro del vehículo.


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