OPEN THREAD 20200424

This is the daily OPEN THREAD for today.

Our purpose is the utter destruction of the criminal CCP.

Anything can be posted on this thread – we have free speech.

That said, everybody else does, too.

And we do have a rule.

Don’t get in front of our weapons.

W

11 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200424

  1. A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it.”

    A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

    His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your Bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”

    The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”

    His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”

    Liked by 5 people

  2. A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.

    Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

    Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

    He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace.

    Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

    You can’t fix stupid.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. A cop pulls a car over for speeding.

    Cop: “Sir, do you know you were doing 110 mph in a 90 zone?”

    Driver: “ Yes! I’m Sorry, but that’s because I was racing another car and lost track of the speed.”

    Since he did not see any car besides that, the cop asks – “Sir, have you been drinking?”

    Driver: “A little bit of Whisky, but just because I needed something to take with the LSD I took at a party!”

    Cop: “LSD? Sir, I need you to step out of the car! Is there anything else I need to know? Drugs, Firearms?”

    Driver: “Sure! There is at least 5 pounds of cocaine in my glove department and an AK-47 under my seat! But please, don’t open the trunk, or the person I just kidnapped will scape!”

    The cop, not believing in what he heard and a little afraid, called his superior!

    At his arrival, the cop told the Sheriff all that. The Sheriff told he to wait by his car and goes to speak with the driver:

    Sheriff: “Sir, my subordinate told me you have a kidnapped person in your trunk!”

    Driver opens the trunk: “As you can see, there’s no one here, but my jack and spare tire”

    Sheriff: “What about the AK under your seat?”

    Driver pulling his seat forward: “There’s no such thing here, just an umbrella!!”

    Sheriff: “I see! And the cocaine in your glove compartment”

    Driver opens the glove compartment: “you must be kidding me! Only my registration’s there!”

    Sheriff: “Have you been drinking or engaging in any kind of drugs?”

    Driver: “Sir, I don’t smoke cigarettes, don’t even drink soda! I’ve been in my home all night with my mom and she’s the most fervently religious woman you never know! That cop over there must be kidding you! HE told you I was drunk, took drugs, was armed and a drug dealer, and had kidnapped someone? What else? That I was speeding too?”

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Betty was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when she was startled by a Buick Enclave crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on her lawn. She helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair. “My goodness,” she exclaimed, “you are quite old to be driving!” “Yes”, he replied, “I am old enough that I don’t need a license.”

    “What….NO LICENSE?” “Nope! The last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a driving license. I told I did have one and handed it to him. He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces, threw them in the wastebasket and said, ‘You won’t be need this anymore.’ So, I thanked him and left.”

    Liked by 5 people

      1. Thank you Gail I was hoping you would see this image, I dont know where I stole it from but when I seen it it brought tears to my eye.
        America has been thru so much since our beginning and to see this horse praying with Old Glory draped over it’s back made me think of all the sacrifices we Americans have made for freedom.

        Liked by 2 people

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