OPEN THREAD 20200418

This is the daily OPEN THREAD for today.

Our purpose is the utter destruction of the criminal CCP.

Anything can be posted on this thread – we have free speech.

That said, everybody else does, too.

And we do have a rule.

Don’t get in front of our weapons.

W

6 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200418

  1. A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi are on a fishing trip.

    The Rabbi says he wants a drink, so he walks off the boat, across the water, and grabs the drink.

    A few minutes later, the Minister wants a drink too, and also walks across the water.

    The priest thinks to himself ‘If God lets them walk on water, he’ll let me too, and leaves the boat.

    The priest sinks like a stone into the lake.

    The Rabbi turns to the Minister and says “guess he didn’t know where the stepping stones were.”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A woman was nearing the end of her tether – every night her husband was snored so loudly that it kept her awake.

    She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering.

    “Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband of his snoring,” said the doctor, “but I must warn you that it is rather expensive. It will cost you a deposit of £15,000, and payments of £1,000 for 48 months, as well as money for extras.”

    “Good grief!” exclaimed the woman. “That sounds like I’m buying a yacht!”

    “Hmm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A young lady, jobless and spurned by her lover, heads to the Manhattan docks to drown herself. She has nothing, no friends, no family, she just wants to end it all. And as she’s about to jump, a handsome young sailor shouts, “stop! Don’t do it!!”

    And she says, “I’ve nothing in this world, I might as well end it!”

    And he says, “Listen, listen. It’s a rotten world, sure. But never end the thing the Lord gave us without changing everything first. I’m leaving tomorrow on a boat for Europe. I know one of the stevedores. I’ll find you a place to stowaway, and we can start a new life over there. I’ll make you happy. You’ll make me happy. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

    And she agrees. That night they meet in darkness and he smuggles her aboard one of the lifeboats belowdeck.

    He brings her a blanket, and some food, and for three weeks they have this tryst. Each night he brings her a sandwich and they talk and make passionate love until the dawn.

    After the third week, the captain is doing a routine inspection belowdecks, and he hears a quiet rustling in one of the lifeboats. He pulls back the tarp and sees her, shaking in fear.

    “WHAT are you doing here, madam??”

    And she tells all, “I…I’m a stowaway! I have an…arrangement with one of the sailors on this ship. He’s helping us get to Europe, and he lets me hide out in this lifeboat, smuggling me food.”

    “And?” says the captain

    “And…well. He’s screwing me.”

    ….and the captain says, “He sure is, lady, this is the Staten Island Ferry!”

    Liked by 4 people

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