OPEN THREAD 20200327

Basically, all legal free speech is allowed. We will assist the authorities in dealing with illegal speech. You are each other’s moderators. Have fun. And don’t forget to MAGA at nuclear levels.

After going through the elements, we now enjoy a sequence of RANDOM somewhat pseudo-random topics that will be thrown out for investigation and commentary on each open thread. At some point, in a way something like composite numbers, I will accidentally hit a second occurrence of one of them – that’s just normal.

Have fun!

Citizen U

(a.k.a. W on the OTHER site)

Day 142 – The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

13 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200327

  1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy started out as a six-part series on BBC Radio 4 in 1978. It has since become novels, comic books, miniseries, a cinematic movie, stage shows, LPs, audiobooks, and videogames….all of which are significantly different from the others. Douglas Adams, the mind behind the franchise, fundamentally understood that we might live in the same reality, but everyone perceives it slightly differently.

    Continuity within each adaptation is applauded; continuity between adaptations is optional.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A traveler was walking along the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm
    Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.

    Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

    Wanting a ride very badly, the guy jumped into the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of the engine to be heard over the rain.

    Again the car crept slowly forward and guy was terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray and beg for his life. He was certain the ghost car would go off the road and into the river, and he would surely drown!

    But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver’s window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again.

    Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, frightened nearly to death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran through the storm to the nearby town.

    Wet and in shock, he went into a lighted tavern and with voice quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, and then, shaken, he told everybody about his supernatural experience.

    A silence came over those listening and everybody got goose bumps.

    They realized the guy was sober and was telling the truth. And the sounds of the storm continued outside.

    About a half hour later, two guys walked into the bar and one says to the other, ‘Look Billy Bob, there’s that idiot that rode in our car while we was pushing it in the rain.’

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jesus is bored in heaven and decides to take a vacation to Earth.

    He thinks hitchhiking could be fun, so he disguises himself as an average looking American and flies down from heaven onto a highway in Nebraska. He sticks his thumb out and after a little while, an 18-wheeler pulls over to offer a ride. He climbs in the cab, tells the driver he’s headed west and off they go. They’re driving along chatting and having an enjoyable ride when the trucker asks the hitchhiker if he’s hungry. He is, so the trucker graciously splits his tuna sandwich and gives half to his passenger.

    A little while later the driver asks him if he’s thirsty and offers to split his can of Coke with the hitchhiker. They’re riding along enjoying each others’ company and after another twenty miles or so, the trucker says “Now that we’ve had lunch, how about dessert?” He pulls a big fat joint from the glove box and gives it to his passenger, but warns him that it is especially strong weed. Disguised Jesus thinks to himself “Fuck it.. I’m on vacation” and lights it up and takes a big toke.

    Jesus is enjoying the buzz and is reflecting on how nice this trucker has been to him when it occurs to him that he hasn’t even introduced himself. He turns to the trucker and says “You’ve been so kind to me, offering me a ride, offering me food and drink, and sharing this joint with me, and I haven’t even introduced myself.”

    The trucker replies “Shit man, me either… I’m Larry.”

    Jesus turns to him and says “Thank you for your hospitality, Larry. I am Jesus, the only son of God, and you are living like a true Christian.”

    Larry hears this, turns to Jesus and — with a big grin on his face — says “See! I told you that weed was some good shit!”

    Like

  4. Levels of stress:
    1) You pick up a hitchhiker, A beautiful young girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car. You take her to the hospital.

    -Stressful

    2) But hospital says she is pregnant and you are going to be a father. You swiftly say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are!!

    -Very stressful

    3) You request a DNA test to prove “you are NOT the father” and insist on providing a sperm sample. After the tests are completed the doctor says that you are INFERTILE, and probably have been since birth.

    -Extreme Stress but now relieved

    4) On your way home you think about your 3 kids.

    -STRESSED

    Liked by 1 person

  5. From the font:

    ********************************

    “You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”

    “Why, what did she tell you?”

    “I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”

    ********************************

    The reason why it was published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if it were printed in normal book form, an interstellar hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in.

    ********************************

    “Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.”

    ********************************

    It is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

    ********************************

    Eskimos had over two hundred different words for snow, without which their conversation would probably have got very monotonous. So they would distinguish between thin snow and thick snow, light snow and heavy snow, sludgy snow, brittle snow, snow that came in flurries, snow that came in drifts, snow that came in on the bottom of your neighbor’s boots all over your nice clean igloo floor, the snows of winter, the snows of spring, the snows you remember from your childhood that were so much better than any of your modern snow, fine snow, feathery snow, hill snow, valley snow, snow that falls in the morning, snow that falls at night, snow that falls all of a sudden just when you were going out fishing, and snow that despite all your efforts to train them, the huskies have pissed on.

    ********************************

    “Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”

    And, BTW, that last Musical Interlude? — featured Douglas Adams on bass.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Good Morning, all of U…

    …and boo’s/ hissses/bared teeth and bags of eternal bad karma to the entire Deep State apparatus…

    don’t know how many others here besides me are fans of Dylan…I suspect there might a few…

    he wrote this song a while back…nobody seems to know exactly when…maybe it was back in that November…

    but he just released it at midnight, last night…about JFK…

    Murder Most Foul (remember your Shakespeare)….

    listening to it, I started thinking…maybe this is a mournful reflection on the violent start of the Deep State’s foul agenda in our nation…

    so…I thought I’d share it here at the U Tree hang-out…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. (I’m thinking maybe he wrote this around 2013…he sings about “50 years ago”…kind of uncanny that he chose to release it last night at midnight..and I’m wondering if he follows Q.)

      Like

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