OPEN THREAD 20200127

Basically, all legal free speech is allowed. We will assist the authorities in dealing with illegal speech. You are each other’s moderators. Have fun. And don’t forget to MAGA at nuclear levels.

Citizen U

Day 82 – LEAD.

18 thoughts on “OPEN THREAD 20200127

    1. They should have found a way to introduce Robert Plant into the last Star Trek films like they introduced Keith Richards into the Pirates of the Caribbean. “Yeah, we know Anakin was your father — but Robert, here, was your milkman. We have no idea how you ended up with so many midichlorians.”

      Liked by 2 people

  1. My paternal grandfather’s family were sheepherders in western Colorado. I was named after a paternal great-uncle. My grandfather was the cook of a band that went up to the mesas. He did well for himself, comparatively…..

    My dad and my uncle had dreams of further horizons. My uncle went into the Marines and traveled the world, mustering out in Southern California. My father drove a Ford Model A to join him.

    My dad did the college/government service thing while my uncle married into a family of plumbers…..and that’s where you encounter lead.

    Plumbum is Latin for lead, and plumbers have been identified for centuries as lead-workers.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Two deer hunters hired a pilot to take them way into the backcountry. After the hunt, the pilot returned and saw that they shot six deer. “The plane won’t carry six deer, you’ll have to leave two of them,” said the pilot, trying to be friendly. Unwilling to leave their dead deer, the hunters said “We got six on the plane last year.” The pilot gave in, and just five minutes after takeoff the plane crashed into the forest. Lucky to be alive, one of the hunters said, “Any idea where we are?” The second hunter said, “Yeah, right about where our plane went down last year.”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta.
    He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
    The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
    The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
    The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
    The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’ The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?” The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

    The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger.
    He agreed to abide by the local custom.
    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
    His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
    His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth.
    The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
    Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet.
    Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”
    The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
    Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
    “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”

    After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
    A little while later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”
    “Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck,” the other added.

    Liked by 2 people

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